October 7, 2018

    There are a lot of hardships dealing within the inner makings of the music industry. 

The main, for me, is people projecting their insecurities on you. I know this is a life thing, but in the music industry, it's so different. People will go out of their way to make sure you don't rise above them because of their fear of being forgotten. 

    This, fatigue, one puts on themselves is a cancer. To be able to look at someone, feed them promises and lies, knowing they won't move, because they only view a piece of the picture, is a "fear" place to be. I'm not at all saying people are owed anything. You must work for it, strive and put in the time. Nothing at all, should be given. Nothing great, is worth something, if it is handed to you. Only when you deserve something, does it gain it's worth or value. 

    I've had people say to me, "You've had so much given to you." NO, I have so much deserved to me, by the work I have put in. Also, aligning myself my purpose and making sure no decision is made without GOD. Since I was six years old, I was singing, acting and dancing, non-stop. I've never taken a break from this. There was never a period of time where I relaxed. I would rehearse in backyards and living rooms. I would sing in my room till I had no voice. I would write out affirmations and goals to achieve. I would study, who I thought were GREAT, in ways people don't understand, even now.

    And I'm still taking the time to improve and evolve myself everyday. As a better singer, a better songwriter, a better performer and a better person. I live for the grueling hours of blood sweat and tears to create something AMAZING! Nothing great, should be comfortable. And I'm striving and always striving for greatness. So, I deserve the blessings God has for me. I deserve to be around positivity and love. I deserve to sing my song and share my heart. No one will make me believe other wise. 

    Recently, I was in a situation where I felt challenged. Someone asked me if I knew a set of engineers, who are really great at their mastering work, and how I should work with them. This was before they heard my recent content. I felt slighted by this comment. --Because in my head, how do you know if who I have worked with, are not as great or greater than what you suggested. Just because they may not have all the "accomplishments" does not make them lesser. It makes them undiscovered.-- They continued with giving a list of suggestions and who they are also working with. Which in that moment made me feel less than. Not good enough, but I kept my face as I always do, because that's who I am. I held on to these feelings since that encounter this week, until today.

    Today I realized that that's how they view me, what seems to be my reputation with them for reason, I'm guessing, is fear. They view me as still unexperienced in this game. Unable to make things happen for myself and maybe even young. That's okay, because that's not who I am and I refuse to waste time proving otherwise. One persons path is not the path for everyone. 2+2=4 but so does 3+1. I don't have to use these big names to make something BIG. What I have created with these incredibly gifted people is what God placed in my heart to share. God will make room for it because my purpose is laced all through it. In each chord structure, to each note, to each harmony, to each level. I sought out to spread a message of love. I know the ones who are not ready for that love will not connect to it. That was shown to me in the early stages of this project. So I will not allow someone, to suggest, that what I have created with GREAT people is not GREAT.

    And after all that, they still never gave me the contacts to these "great" people. Only talked about who they knew. Another play in the music industry game. To create fear in the other, to seem higher, so everyone knows what you're doing and/or working on or to inquire about being apart of what their doing. Not everything I'm doing is shared. 

    I didn't know what this night would be about or even how the night would end. But what I can say is, I felt something that made me uneasy. 

    This gave me strength to keep pushing my message of love. Because at the end of the day, I'm grateful to know mine, some people are still searching. I pray they find there's. 



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